Ritual

Ritual doesn’t have to be religious, weird, or woo-woo. Think of ritual as a way to give your brain sensory (sight, touch, sound, smell, etc) symbols of a shift you want to make. Maybe it’s a big ritual like a moonlight burial of the mementos from a relationship it’s time to let go of, or…

If You Sprinkle: Stewardship of Public Spaces + Social Justice

Social justice makes the news when it’s grand gestures, but the impact individuals can have on cultural shifts in social justice starts with ordinary stewardship of the impact our words and actions have on other people. This kind of work begins when we begin to mindfully consider how other bodies engage the everyday privileges we…

Childhood Emotional Neglect and Chronic Shame

Kids who grow up in families where emotional needs are not validated and met often develop a deep sense of internal shame for having needs at all. Over time, in order to cope, many of these kids become adults with little or no capacity to experience their emotions  (a symptom associated with alexithymia). Hilary Jacobs…

Unsolicited Information on Everyone’s Least Favorite Form of Communication

A sketchnote highlighting some interesting research on the psychology behind the behavior colloquially referred to as “dick pics.” Somewhat surprisingly, this research on a group of about 1,000 men, found that most senders of this type of unwanted-imagery believe that the behavior is “flirting,” and that 82% of senders indicated that the hoped the images…

illustrated image showing two women

Intergenerational Trauma – Doodle and Questionnaire

If you aren’t naming and breaking the cycles that have entangled you, you are participating in them. It’s true in most systems we are part of, but especially in families. Researchers call it intergenerational trauma and have shown that the trauma of a parent is literally passed genetically to offspring (this Simple-Wikipedia article on epigenetics…

Desire is Not Pathology

Pop-culture “wellness” often pathologizes desire. We are promised that if we can ignore physical hunger, meet our own needs emotionally, and keep our sexual desire confined, we’ll be okay and we won’t have to suffer the affliction of desire. This marketing-tactic is so ingrained that most of us (particularly women) have swallowed it whole. However,…

How to Choose a Therapist – Illustrated

When you’re new to therapy and aren’t really sure what therapy is supposed to feel like, it can be really confusing to try and figure out if a first session or initial consult went well. Asking questions about experience, training, specialities, and method can be helpful, but research indicates that these things matter less than…

Family Therapy / Parenting Sketch notes

There’s a ton of pressure on parents and caregivers to meet every need. Sometimes shame around not being able to do so prevents families from reaching out for the support they need. But here’s the thing- parents aren’t meant to meet every need. You can’t soften every blow or soothe every disappointment- but you can…