Pop-culture “wellness” often pathologizes desire. We are promised that if we can ignore physical hunger, meet our own needs emotionally, and keep our sexual desire confined, we’ll be okay and we won’t have to suffer the affliction of desire.

This marketing-tactic is so ingrained that most of us (particularly women) have swallowed it whole. However, being a whole, healthy, complex human means allowing desire to exist, honoring it, satisfying it in ways that are accessible and life-giving. It also means holding with care, and without shame, desires that remain unmet.

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