A flowchart for getting to sleep. We all know how elusive sleep can be, but quality sleep is essential for physical and mental health. When sleep feels hard to come by, “sleep hygiene” the go-to remedy. While some sleep and insomnia related issues need specific treatments including medication or longer-term psychotherapy, psychoeducation about sleep hygiene…
If you’ve avoided recovery because giving up the only-ways-you-know-to-survive feels overwhelming, know that the goal of good therapy isn’t “stopping certain behaviors” it’s SO MUCH MORE. Good therapy can hold our ambivalence about whether or not we actually want to make changes. It can help be curious about experimenting with new ways to cope. Therapy…
Therapy is hard work. It’s ok if a therapy session leaves you sad, shaken up, or exhausted. If, however, you find therapy sessions pushing you into a dark place where you feel like you need to use harmful things to cope, it’s time to re-evaluate. Let your therapist know how your counseling sessions impact you.…
Most of us know one or two help rejecting complainers. It can be tempting to get frustrated, give up, or get “even,” but when we react out of frustration instead of responding with kindness, we actually reinforce the beliefs that support the behavior. Complaining is the only type of support-seeking some people know. Complaining engages…
Numbers, timers, scales, and bell curves are not the measure of health- they are external authorities sold to us as measures of goodness, permission, and performance. Fear and disorientation are normal first responses to the idea that perhaps all these wellness apps and fitness trackers are deeply tied to patriarchal motives to co-opt bodies into…
When all you can muster up the energy to do is sit on the couch in a blanket-burrito browsing internet memes, try sitting outside in a blanket-burrito browsing internet memes. It’s old news to most of us that activity (including things like exercise/movement, gardening, volunteering, and spending time with supportive people and communities) helps…
Needs that are ignored or unable to be met due to lack of resources don’t go away- instead, they often become all-consuming until there’s no space for us to focus on tasks, plan, organize, parent, or take good care of ourselves. Whether self-imposed (like dieting or working your way into vocational burnout) or external (like…
Get a free PDF copy of this art: Social media can be a dark, divisive place sometimes. On the other end of the spectrum, depending on the accounts you choose to follow, it can be really easy to find yourself surrounded by toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is the sort of blind optimism that…
Schizophrenia is among the most debilitating mental health disorders- so much so that there is still a lot of stigma around the diagnosis. The problem is stigma is especially harmful when it comes to this diagnosis. Here’s why: about 75% of people with schizophrenia have months or years of subtle symptoms (called a predromal…
Most psychological measures and scales tend to make us think in black-and-white terms, but I like how this adaptation takes the attachment style grid and transforms it into a spectrum for adult attachment. A spectrum allows space for everyone and each of our unique experiences: experiencing more or less relationship-related anxiety, with a greater…
Sometimes finding a therapist can be the hardest part of deciding to start therapy. It can be hard to know where to begin, especially when we’ve all heard stories about not-so-great therapists. Although online directories like P.T. make it easy to search and sort, it’s worth considering that many of the more experienced, more in-demand…
In a culture where “vulnerability” can sometimes feel like relational currency, it’s easy to fall into a trap of sharing trauma stories before a new relationship has the roots to support it. Especially when we’ve had trauma in past relationships, it can be tempting to “test” new relationships in order to justify leaving or to…
Most of the “life stories” we encounter through fiction, movies, and summary biographies (i.e. wikipedia) follow narrative development that isn’t really accurate. In real life, setbacks are common- and part of growth. Recently I got to hear my friend Kate Rae Davis present at Symposia, a series of ted-talk style presentations by fellow alumni of…
There is an enormous amount of pressure on parents to keep tabs on everything their teen does- especially online. But a little bit of privacy can be a good thing when it comes to healthy adolescent development. The mall, the skate park, the beach, the drive-in, the soda fountain. These aren’t just spaces where generations…
It’s normal to feel upset, anxious, or extremely uncomfortable when we encounter difficult content. Having a strong reaction to information that is generally considered troubling or difficult information is normal. Learning how to self-regulate (aka “calm down”) after being exposed to difficult content is part of normal emotional development. Trauma triggers are different. Trauma triggers…
For a while now, the terminology of both “victim” and “survivor” has sat uneasily with me. Both terms center the traumatic experience as part of a person’s identity. Although (and please hear me on this) we can do real harm by minimizing someone’s trauma, one way we can support people in maintaining or building an…
